pissed and depressed…

I despise the holidays! There’s just too much pressure to be happy and all that, and I just can’t do it. It’s cold and miserable out, and there’s nothing to celebrate, really. Now that they’re getting closer, there’s less work for me to do, and I’m just bored out of my mind. There’s also the uncertainty of my contract getting renewed. Everyone says that it might, but I’m not too sure. I’ve had my share of bad experiences, and I don’t really need any more. I hope it all works out for the best, cause if it does, it will be a first for me.

I don’t know what to say, but I’m feeling more depressed lately, even though I’ve been working out. Maybe that’s the cause of it. I can’t even do a chin-up, and it’s making me feel weak. I should go see a shrink about all my problems, but I can’t afford it. I’ve just been feeling so shitty about myself lately, although there is no reason for it. I can’t even enjoy myself anymore. Hottie just doesn’t get it. It’s times like these where I wish I was a boy, that way, things would be a lot simpler, and I wouldn’t be so self-conscious.

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