facing my fear

So, tonight is the night I face my fear. I have to go to the dentist. I haven’t gone in quite a few years, since I’ve moved out and my parents can’t drag me there. I’m really freaking nervous, even if it’s just a check-up. I’m worried that I’ll get bad news. I know that one of my teeth has a small cavity in it, that’s why I’m going. Hottie’s going to drive me, cause if it was up to me, I’d miss the exit, and just keep driving off into nowhere, or just never leave my parking lot.

I feel ridiculous though. I’m just going in for a check-up, yet I’ve had butterflies in my stomach all day, and even last night. I was reading up on my phobia, and it says that it’s an “associative” fear, which makes lots of sense. Every time I’ve gone to a dentist, it’s been either painful, or bad news. As a kid, I used to burst into tears when they’d tell me that I had a cavity, despite my brushing. (But I found out that brushing too hard doesn’t help any) I have needle phobia, and this is one of those things that is associated with it. Just the smell of rubbing alcohol at the doctor’s, or the smell of a dentist’s office, is enough to put me on edge. Anyways, I have to face this part, and then, when I have to get a filling, I’ll have them put me under…It’s the only way I can get that shot in the mouth.

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